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Check Out My Free LGBTQ+ Mental Health Videos
Learn practical ways to boost your well-being
Discover what it would be like to work with me
Review and practice these skills to amplify your gains between sessions
How Does A Transgender Affirming Referral From a Therapist Work?
Unfortunately, there are a lot of barriers to trans-affirming healthcare, including for those that want to medically transition. Many medical providers require a person to get a referral from a mental health therapist before prescribing hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or performing gender confirmation surgeries. Oftentimes when people seeking a trans-affirming referral reach out to me, they are unsure what this will entail, which is understandable given the mysticism and ambiguity around this current common practice. This video provides general information on how a gender confirmation referral from a therapist works, as well as specific information as to how I, as a trans-affirming therapist, make efforts to avoid any gate-keeping and make the process as easy as possible.
Healthy Ways to Have a Difficult Conversation
When someone has hurt our feelings, we sometimes hold it in rather than tell them. Putting yourself out there and not knowing how someone will react can be scary, but holding it in can amplify the hurt, build resentment, and damage the relationship. Telling someone that they've hurt your feelings gets it off your chest, gives the person a chance to make amends, and strengthens the relationship - with added bonuses of being vulnerable and personal growth through challenging yourself to do something that is difficult. Healthy Ways to Have a Difficult Conversation: 1. Briefly plan your main point 2. Give the person a heads up and get their consent 3. Let the conversation be an exchange 4. Give the person time to process 5. Debrief by reflecting on how it went
Assertive Communication helps build our confidence and get our needs met. Think of it like a muscle you can build up over time with practice. Here are 5 tips for practicing Assertive Communication: 1. Regulate Your Emotions 2. Be Concise & Confident 3. Speak From the "I" 4. Avoid "Tells" (Apologizing, Disclaimers, or Alternatives) 5. Remember Discomfort Leads to Growth
Acknowledging My Cisgender Privilege
I love working with members of the trans community. While I am a trained and experienced gender affirming therapist, I am cisgender and cannot know or speak to the lived experiences of a trans person. Thank you to my trans and GNC clients who share their struggles, celebrations, & wisdom with me and help to make me a better therapist, ally, and person. Much love and respect
Checking Comparison When Transitioning
It's common for people who are transitioning to compare themselves to other people in the trans community. Social comparison tends to lead to not feeling good about yourself and not feeling hopeful and excited about your own transition. You can help check this by increasing awareness about how comparing yourself to others who are transitioning is impacting you, limiting doing so when it is causing harm, practicing gratitude, focusing on your "why" for your transition, and taking action in a way that aligns with that value and goal.
We tend to wait until we feel motivated to take action, but taking action actually generates motivation. Take your goal, break it down into small, actionable steps, and start by doing just the first thing. If you get stuck on doing the first step, break it down even further. You've got this!
Pushing Past Fear & Avoidance
Practical tips to enhance the likelihood of getting things that you have been avoiding. Avoidance is often a result of fear. If you keep putting something off, check in with yourself and ask: What about this scares me? Dive deeper into the fear, normalize it, combat the worry thoughts, then push through and go for it - you can do this!
Increasing Emotional Awareness
Processing your emotions is good for your mental health. Check in with yourself regularly and ask (in any order): -What happened? -How am I feeling? -What are my thoughts? -What am I doing in response? Try checking in with yourself once a day. The more you practice it intentionally, the more your mind will naturally start to do this.
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